Parenting is a topic that can be near and dear to someone’s heart but also bring a lot of mixed-feelings to a lot of people. I feel like there are two types of people in the world; 1) The one who wants to have a child/children, and 2) The ones who do not. I do not prefer one over the other because let’s face it, each human being is unique and has their own journey through life; Not everyone is going to live thorough the same exact story twice, so if they decide to have or not to have children, that is completely up to them. For me however, I chose the parenting route because I just cannot fathom a life without having a child/children. I’ve dreamed about being a mom since I can even remember and I consider myself incredibly lucky to have my sweet baby; I thank God each day for this wonderful blessing.
Being a parent changes your life completely – I agree to that statement. But, a lot of people associate change in this context as something negative when it actually is not. In fact, although my life has changed, I feel like it has changed for the better – and more! I am a better human now, with better habits, and it is all because of this new level of responsibility that I have. I feel like I just cannot fail my son.
With that said, I am going to debunk some “parenting myths” because I just need to clear the air out a little bit..
- I am not ready financially
- Yes, there is some truth to that and yes it will pose a financial constraint if you are not capable of working, disabled or for other undisclosed reasons but it is also not unreasonable. I still cannot understand why child care is so expensive here in the States, but on the flip side, I do understand why it is expensive. How do we manage? It comes down to laying out priorities and working in that order. You have to find something that will work for you, and it will work out. We should be grateful that there are a lot options here in the US for various type of childcare services and even child supplies – The options are really endless for every type of budget you’re in. At the end of the day, it really comes down to choosing what fits you and your family’s lifestyle. If you have to sacrifice that weekly dinner date out, there are many other things you can do at home instead – And those are sometimes the best dates you’ll ever have!
- I like my freedom
- This is a topic that I hear about most often. Most people don’t realize that when two people decide to be parents, they are committed to that process. Same as if the two people are committed to being with each other for the rest of their lives in marriage. When you set your heart to one thing, you will most likely be committed to it for as long as you wish. Take for example, your job. Although having a child isn’t quite the same as you landing your dream job, (you can’t just quit), but humans are actually born to be nurturing souls, which simply means, no one would just “quit” from being a parent. No matter how bad of a person he/she is, they just won’t. With that said, freedom is subjective when it comes to discussing parenting because yes, a parent can still live a “free” life even with their big responsibilities. That is why finding a partner you can trust and count on is at the utmost importance – And even if you are single, I’ve seen single moms do it all – You will find your network, your tribe who would be willing to help you out. Listen, the hard part about being a parent is not within the first 3 years of their life. The hard part is really making sure they grow up to become good humans. Once they are out of their toddler years, you will feel a lot more “freedom” – trust me, but the biggest freedom you’ll feel is when you see that little boy or girl you raised grow up into respectable, polite and smart humans because of you.
- I’m not adult enough
- Who says that being a parent is boring?! Well, actually..a lot of people do and.. parents are also guilty of doing this themselves!!! Listen, this is a PSA. Parenting does not – I repeat – does not, have to be boring. It is what you make of it! People don’t live in the dark ages anymore. If anything, humans are encouraged to live their lives fullest to their desires – The world we live in does not have to be restrictive anymore. Thankfully, we live in a country that supports a very diverse society, so really, becoming parents shouldn’t cost you losing your mind from a boring life. Just seeing your child discover the world with your own eyes is very amusing! You will splash each other with water, play in the rain, snow and sand, you will teach them how to say Mummy, Daddy & their names, and you will even tell them to stop throwing rocks at you – Is that boring?
- I am not ready to lose myself
- Ok, so there are some truth in this one. There is an actual fear coming from people who are afraid of losing themselves in the process of becoming a parent. It is true that when the baby comes, it is very hard to focus on yourself. But, there is beauty in chaos. For me, I feel like I have never been in better shape, until now which is post-baby. I may no longer have a stretch-mark free belly, but I am in the fittest form I have ever been. When you give birth, it is very easy to feel unlike yourself. Even Beyonce said it in her song “Mine”, “I’m not feeling like myself since this baby”, but you have to give yourself some credit, some time and a whole lotta love. Do something for yourself once a week, once a month, once in three months.. but promise that it is your own time. For me, as much as I hate working out, I actually feel so much better when I do. I also like to express myself through making videos, writing, and taking pictures. I look forward to the times I have at nights after I put Alden down to sleep to catch-up on my shows, paint my nails and talk to Ryan. When I do those things, I feel like I am a better parent. So to those of you who “feels bad” for leaving your child behind for an hour to go workout or get your nails done.. your child will be ok. Do it for you, come back feeling refreshed and then do the damn thing and be the best mom you can be to your kiddo.
Parenting has their ups and downs and it is very different from one to the other, but it is so much fun! Sometimes I can’t believe that I am a mother because I feel like I am such a kid at heart and I do not know the answers to everything, but my answer to everything is actually Alden. He is in his “terrific twos” right now which can be awesome and can be tiring – Especially when you’re juggling work, school, and personal life.. But the cuddles, the “mymy”, the “No!!” and the “Morning mama”.. is so so worth it.
*I do not own some of these images