Debunking Parenting Myths

Parenting is a topic that can be near and dear to someone’s heart but also bring a lot of mixed-feelings to a lot of people. I feel like there are two types of people in the world; 1) The one who wants to have a child/children, and 2) The ones who do not. I do not prefer one over the other because let’s face it, each human being is unique and has their own journey through life; Not everyone is going to live thorough the same exact story twice, so if they decide to have or not to have children, that is completely up to them. For me however, I chose the parenting route because I just cannot fathom a life without having a child/children. I’ve dreamed about being a mom since I can even remember and I consider myself incredibly lucky to have my sweet baby; I thank God each day for this wonderful blessing.

Being a parent changes your life completely – I agree to that statement. But, a lot of people associate change  in this context as something negative when it actually is not. In fact, although my life has changed, I feel like it has changed for the better – and more! I am a better human now, with better habits, and it is all because of this new level of responsibility that I have. I feel like I just cannot fail my son.

With that said, I am going to debunk some “parenting myths” because I just need to clear the air out a little bit..

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  • I am not ready financially
    • Yes, there is some truth to that and yes it will pose a financial constraint if you are not capable of working, disabled or for other undisclosed reasons but it is also not unreasonable. I still cannot understand why child care is so expensive here in the States, but on the flip side, I do understand why it is expensive. How do we manage? It comes down to laying out priorities and working in that order. You have to find something that will work for you, and it will work out. We should be grateful that there are a lot options here in the US for various type of childcare services and even child supplies – The options are really endless for every type of budget you’re in. At the end of the day, it really comes down to choosing what fits you and your family’s lifestyle. If you have to sacrifice that weekly dinner date out, there are many other things you can do  at home instead – And those are sometimes the best dates you’ll ever have!

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  • I like my freedom
    • This is a topic that I hear about most often. Most people don’t realize that when two people decide to be parents, they are committed to that process. Same as if the two people are committed to being with each other for the rest of their lives in marriage. When you set your heart to one thing, you will most likely be committed to it for as long as you wish. Take for example, your job. Although having a child isn’t quite the same as you landing your dream job, (you can’t just quit), but humans are actually born to be nurturing souls, which simply means, no one would just “quit” from being a parent. No matter how bad of a person he/she is, they just won’t. With that said, freedom is subjective when it comes to discussing parenting because yes, a parent can still live a “free” life even with their big responsibilities. That is why finding a partner you can trust and count on is at the utmost importance – And even if you are single, I’ve seen single moms do it all – You will find your network, your tribe who would be willing to help you out. Listen, the hard part about being a parent is not within the first 3 years of their life. The hard part is really making sure they grow up to become good humans. Once they are out of their toddler years, you will feel a lot more “freedom” – trust me, but the biggest freedom you’ll feel is when you see that little boy or girl you raised grow up into respectable, polite and smart humans because of you.

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  • I’m not adult enough
    • Who says that being a parent is boring?! Well, actually..a lot of people do and.. parents are also guilty of doing this themselves!!! Listen, this is a PSA. Parenting does not – I repeat – does not, have to be boring. It is what you make of it! People don’t live in the dark ages anymore. If anything, humans are encouraged to live their lives fullest to their desires – The world we live in does not have to be restrictive anymore. Thankfully, we live in a country that supports a very diverse society, so really, becoming parents shouldn’t cost you losing your mind from a boring life. Just seeing your child discover the world with your own eyes is very amusing! You will splash each other with water, play in the rain, snow and sand, you will teach them how to say Mummy, Daddy & their names, and you will even tell them to stop throwing rocks at you – Is that boring?

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  • I am not ready to lose myself
    • Ok, so there are some truth in this one. There is an actual fear coming from people who are afraid of losing themselves in the process of becoming a parent. It is true that when the baby comes, it is very hard to focus on yourself. But, there is beauty in chaos. For me, I feel like I have never been in better shape, until now which is post-baby. I may no longer have a stretch-mark free belly, but I am in the fittest form I have ever been. When you give birth, it is very easy to feel unlike yourself. Even Beyonce said it in her song “Mine”, “I’m not feeling like myself since this baby”, but you have to give yourself some credit, some time and a whole lotta love. Do something for yourself once a week, once a month, once in three months.. but promise that it is your own time. For me, as much as I hate working out, I actually feel so much better when I do. I also like to express myself through making videos, writing, and taking pictures. I look forward to the times I have at nights after I put Alden down to sleep to catch-up on my shows, paint my nails and talk to Ryan. When I do those things, I feel like I am a better parent. So to those of you who “feels bad” for leaving your child behind for an hour to go workout or get your nails done.. your child will be ok. Do it for you, come back feeling refreshed and then do the damn thing and be the best mom you can be to your kiddo.

Parenting has their ups and downs and it is very different from one to the other, but it is so much fun! Sometimes I can’t believe that I am a mother because I feel like I am such a kid at heart and I do not know the answers to everything, but my answer to everything is actually Alden. He is in his “terrific twos” right now which can be awesome and can be tiring – Especially when you’re juggling work, school, and personal life.. But the cuddles, the “mymy”, the “No!!” and the “Morning mama”.. is so so worth it. 

 

*I do not own some of these images

 

 

 

Weekends are for Wide Brimmed Fedoras and Mimosas

First of all, I wanted to tell you guys something. THANK GOD for allergy medicine! I have not taken allergy meds for two years because I was pregnant and nursing, so being able to take some again is just revolutionary! I feel like I can function as a human being all over again.

R is away traveling for work and this time he is gone for 10 days. The first couple of days after he leaves is always okay but I am missing him a lot right now because we haven’t been able to talk to each other as much on the phone since he is 6 hours ahead of me. Oh well, can’t wait to see him next week!

Continue reading “Weekends are for Wide Brimmed Fedoras and Mimosas”

White Billowy Top & Black White Shorts | Spring Style

You guys!

Seriously, I cannot stand Spring! I always have the worst allergies but I really want to spend time outside; It’s been absolutely gorgeous!

Continue reading “White Billowy Top & Black White Shorts | Spring Style”

Sleepy Baby

I feel like I’ve been slacking these past few weeks. My house is not nearly as spotless as it usually is and to top it off, my hair is falling in chunks! Welcome to the glamorous postpartum life.

I also feel like I am not doing this mom thing as great as other mothers are doing it. My baby still co-sleeps with me and as much as I love it, I don’t love it too. I want him to sleep in his pack and play SO badly but he just doesn’t seem to like it, or maybe I don’t like it because I don’t get much sleep when he sleeps in there.

This past week, I have been putting him in his pack & play to sleep in at nights and he doesn’t do too bad in it. He still doesn’t sleep through the night but that’s the thing with breastfed babies, they wake sometimes not out of hunger, but just because they want to comfort nurse. I remember the two nights he slept in his own bed, I was zombified the next day at work. But, I’ll need to push through because actually, I feel bad that I am not teaching him to be more independent. He would probably even love it too if he sleeps on his own.

When I was on maternity leave, as much as I was obsessed with breast milk, I was obsessed with sleep training too. And, when babies are that small, it really is hard to train them or to feel like you have to put them on a schedule because they are still so very small. I read a book on instilling healthy sleep habits with baby and I remember thinking to myself, “Ok – This should be a piece of cake”. I was wrong.

However, I need to be dedicated to doing this right for him and for all of us. He has such a beautiful nursery which our friends and family help contribute to setting it up, it will be a waste if it doesn’t get used. Also, we need to transition from postpartum life as quickly as we can to regular life (now with baby) for the structured family we are.

Wish us luck!

Green Lace-Up xx Fringed Booties

Hi Loves,

It feels like a Tuesday today since I worked from home yesterday because my mom was ill on Monday so she couldn’t take care of the baby. Funnily enough, if you follow me on Instagram, you can see that my brain was totally out of whack when I posted a #mcm post on a Tuesday. But anyways, as always, I find myself scrolling through my camera roll to see pictures taken from the weekend and I came across these  that I am sharing with you all today.


On Saturday, Macy’s had a one day sale and we checked it out at the mall to see if we could take advantage of it. I scored some really cute pants and boots that I am dying to wear when the weather gets a little colder (Thanks babe). I also managed to snag some beauty products from Sephora as well, which I plan on sharing with you all  in the next couple of days. I realized I haven’t updated my beauty category in a while because I have been overloaded with things,  but I just came up with a new posting schedule, which will help me prioritize my posts going forward and hopefully something I can adhere to.

Anyways, on Sunday, we had to go back to the mall because I accidentally grabbed the wrong size pants from Saturday and R suggested to play a little game with me. Basically, it was decided that he would pick out my outfit for the day and his argument was that he never gets to see me as much during the week and he hasn’t seen me in some of the stuff that he got for me, in a while. Also maybe because I’ve been super plain Jane-ing it with my pregnancy and now struggling with my postpartum figure. But anyhoos, this is what he picked out!

This cutest green dress is from Forever 21 (link here) and I actually bought this some time last month, and am finally wearing it a month later. It was such a steal for only $14.90. Only downside to  this is that it is cumbersome to breastfeed for all you breastfeeding mamas out there. I had to nurse my baby in the car before we shopped around in the mall and once again at the restaurant before our early dinner.

The booties were actually purchased about almost a year ago now (damn!) – I remember getting these and then it got cold or I got too pregnant – either way, I am glad I can wear them again now. They are from the Carlos Santana shoe line at Macy’s (link here) and they were $89. Everything else are items that belong to me and R (scarf is his)… and that I wear all the time. I think R did amazing on his choice – as he always does- I owe him a lot for getting me to step -out of my comfort zone because I miss mixing cute outfits like this together. I have seriously battled with the loss of creativity especially when I haven’t shopped in the “non-maternity” section for a while. Thank god I don’t have mom jeans though. The day I wear one is the day I will kill this blog for good. LOL.

 

So, back to our Sunday – It was such a beautiful day; not too hot, not too cold. I know I keep talking about the beautiful weather we’ve been getting here down in the South – I just cannot get enough of it!

Other than that, R & I are all about “creating traditions” together now. Our first is what we call, Family Friday Fellini’s where we go to Fellini’s for pizza night on Friday evenings. We also decorated our house in Halloween decor after I picked up a couple of little pumpkins at Publix one night. Turns out R had a boxful of decorative items that are now adorning our humble abode. Another tradition that we seem to have now too is Sunda dinners at  El Felix in the Avalon, although R will beg to differ because we shouldn’t eat out as much as we do. =P Their Pollo Verde Enchilada is everything you guys. Love, love it! I think Alden enjoyed his weekend too. Check out those cheeks.

Now, is the week almost over yet?!

P.S: He has now explored his feet and is ALL about them. Too darn cute!

xoxo

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Confessions of a Mommy

Time doesn’t play. My baby boy is shy from being 4 months old in a week’s time. It felt like it was just yesterday I gave birth to him, it felt like it was yesterday I learned the ropes to breastfeeding, it felt like yesterday he would fall asleep on my chest.. Now, he is still my baby but he is definitely 10 pounds heavier, alert and just excited exploring the world he is in; I know, you can tell it in his eyes, his body, his arms and feet.. I am enjoying him being this age. I don’t know if I’ll have another baby again but he is my first love..

As I look at my son, my benefactor, my protector, I can’t help but wonder what kind of life he will grow up and live in. Will he love playing ball with his buddies out in the field or would he prefer making music with his friends in the basement? Would he love the beautiful world of arts or would he be more intrigued by the methodical and systematic universe to the sciences just like his dad? Would he forever be my best friend?

We live in a topsy turvy world; with so much violence and hate and cruelty, I wish and pray that he is forever protected by the divine power of God. I hope that he grows up to be a contributing member to the society and beat all odds against him. He is after all, half black-half Muslim, the lethal combination you would want your child to have growing up in this prejudiced and bigoted part of the world. But I know he will be successful one day – In whatever he chooses to do, I stand by him and his choice. I am just a mere advisor to him and I can only give him my consent when the time comes.

Right now, I will protect him and raise him to be the man I know he already is. To be the man respectful to his future wife, his children.To be the man who doesn’t forget his parent’s struggling days and his roots. To the man who knows that everything starts as humble beginnings.

I love you, Alden. You are mommy’s baby now and you will always be mine but I am afraid to let you go (even if it is not for another 18 years), the thought scares me. Thank you for being here with mom and dad. You are the anchor I’ve been searching for all my life..

Your Mama, xoxo.

My life ❤️️

 

Three Months!

Mommy is super overdue on this update but our little chunky is three months old! I am not sure how much he weighs officially now because there isn’t a wellness checkup this month but I am guessing he is about 15 pounds. That boy is getting super heavy!

Alden has learned to track movements with his eyes, he has started recognizing people around him and he loves to coo and smile. His personality is starting to shine through and it is so darn cute! He can also hold his head up higher now and can stay up for a long time and can roll to his sides.

Our baby LOVES to drink milk on demand on the weekends, co-sleeping with mommy, bath time and playing with daddy. He is starting to blow bubbles now and mommy is starting to lose her hair 😦

Mommy can’t believe that three months have gone by really fast and is already thinking of Alden’s first birthday party. Just.. kidding. But some of my aspirations is to train him to sleep in his own bassinet or crib soon. But, he is getting so spoiled with sleeping next to mommy every night. We are taking family pics in the first week of November… so stay tuned for that!

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